Never 320 Again

I made a promise. I made a promise to you all that I would blog at least once a week; and I kinda broke that promise. I was in training for almost two weeks: 8am-11pm, every day. No gym, no running, just 15 hours a day of work.

That being said, I did not overeat: not one day. I was social, went out to the bar a few times with friends, ate a few chicken wings here and there, but I realize now that I did not overindulge– I ate like a human. I can be normal when I want to be, and I can overindulge when I lose that control, that humanity that I cling to so desperately.

I have likened it to alcoholism in previous posts. The way I see it is: alcoholics don’t have just one drink, they have two or three, they don’t drink to get drunk, they drink because they need to in order to survive, its their way of coping with their feelings whether it be depression, boredom, sadness, happiness etc… It is the same thing with overeaters, chronic binge-eaters, and overindulgers. We don’t eat because we’re hungry, we don’t eat to get full, we eat because we are bored, tired, depressed, alienated.

I felt like I gained weight last semester: my jeans were tight, my shirts were tight but I refused to admit it to myself. I wasn’t going to the gym as often as I would have liked, I started eating my peanut butter and jelly again (if anyone sees me eat peanut butter and jelly: count the calories, its like two meals!), and I had just ended a relationship: I was depressed, alone, sad.

I identified this and corrected it; I’m dealing with my problems the right way now. This blog helps me do that. My residents moved back yesterday, and in the middle of my floor meeting I heard this girl say, “Is it me, or does Mike look cuter without the added weight?” I realized then, that I had positively corrected my behavior. Since then, I have received compliment after compliment about my losing weight over winter break– let’s continue this trend.

This blog helps me realize that I can live a real life, one where I go out for drinks after work, and if I have a wing: I can stop at one, and it won’t be the end of the world. I didn’t go out afterwards and buy wings to make, I didn’t order any from the wing place down the street: I had one wing off of a friends plate, and then ate the carrots and celery that she said was “disgusting.” I enjoyed it, I sat there with my beer and had a great time!

I could sit here and list the times that I was a successful individual in a social setting: but you would be like “really now, what’s the point to this?” My point: I’m proud, and I need to set some definitions so that we have a clear understanding for future posts.

Successful Human (n): an individual, who without thought, successfully avoids overindulging and mindless eating.

Real Boy (n): a male, who is able to participate in events or social settings that, prior to the WLJ (weight loss journey), was unhead of.

Amazing (proper noun): Me.